What part of "EX" don't you understand?!!

ex- without, not including, or without the right to have, or upwards. You ever wanted to just break that definition down to someone? Get them to understand that while you may be a girl and you may have been some type of friend... the most important part of your title is "EX". You are an EX-girl-friend! Same with the men. Some people are secure enough to accept their mate being friends with a past love but some people just aren't. And, yes, it is healthy and a good sign if you have that security but are you wrong if you don't? The thing to ponder over is "what is there to talk about?" The good ol' times? NO! How things could have been? NO! If things didn't work, fine but why continue out communication? It's totally understandable if two people had been childhood friends and tried to make something happen that just didn't work out and you don't want to lose that friend. "So why can't we ALL be friends?" Look at things as if the shoe was on the other foot *cliche* but helpful. The thing is old loves have shared something prior (in most cases) than the current "boo", there is history and old emotions, even simple memories. Why do that to yourself? You may not be as strong as you think you are and you almost never know the other person's real intentions. The worst case, though, is the ex who won't go away. Why would you continue to show your face in a place where all you're doing is irritating a situation and hurting your own feelings? Now don't get me wrong, everyone has had that one person whose family became yours and everyone got along, hell you still got invites after the break-up. But if both of you aren't comfortable and there's a new love in their life you really should just make like an egg... "beat it" lol. Seriously, your motives are obvious and your presence is annoying. What part of "ex" don't you understand?

Text Messages Tapping: Damned if you do...

Inbox: 0 Outbox: 0
That's the second to last thing anyone would want to see in their mate's phone. Because it's just a DEAD give away that there is something to hide. And possibly too much infedelity to even disguise so it's best to just "delete all". Now the very last thing you want to see in his or her phone is those "I love you" messages and those "Cum fxck me" messages. Seriously, anytime you read something in your man's phone from another woman, especially one you don't know, it throws up a red flag... INSTANTLY. And men are the same way. Anytime a man sees a number with no name or a man's name in his woman's text catalog there is a flame of jealousy and insecurity that grows without hesitation. In so many cases relationships are ruined because of a conversation that should have never taken place between a partner and another person. People who cheat just seam to get careless and lazy after a while. And lets not forget, "everything done in the dark shall soon come to light". But what about those cases where "it's not what it seems" (those DO really exist). How many times have you heard that? Too many, right? The problem is text messages tend to be that way sometimes. How often have you had to reword your message to someone because you know good and well that it just doesn't look right? And how often do you read a message trying to figure out "did she mean it this way or this way"? easy mistake. If you don't know the history or the prelude to the conversation you can easily get off to the wrong start. So the question is "how do I know the difference?" My philosophy is "If it's there it'll come out. Why go looking?". And then there are those people who go looking for dirt just because. No valid suspicion, no reason for doubt, just plain ol' insecurity. Ever had somebody go through your phone and read something like "when can I get that from you" 
"when you want it"
"don't act stupid. ASAP"
and though it looks like some BULLSHxT you're actually talking about a discount on a phone bill from your cousin's boyfriend. If you don't trust the person you're with, that means one of you has some issues. Think about it, now you believe he's a liar and a cheater and he never cheated.. at some point he will get sick of trying to plead a case that he should never have been faced with! Now you don't trust him and he starts questioning your reasons for being so insecure! Be careful what you make accusations on when it comes to things you really are not sure of. But don't be a fool either. I guess it's about better judgement. Just don't lose something worth keeping over something that wasn't worth reading.

Reese & J: Sex in Crazy Places pt1

At about 3:00pm J and Reese were headed back to the hotel room, just leaving a sports bar. Down town Atlanta not far from Peachtree Blvd. Every time they go out of town they bar hop throughout the day because at night, it's all business.
"Good afternoon Mr and Mrs.Moss" "The concierge always assume we're married"
"We will be"
Reese loves when J talks about marrying her. Reminds her that everyday as "his girl" will pay off.
Twenty-fourth floor, Reese likes to be at the highest floor possible so when she looks out the window she doesn't have to see anything she doesn't want to see. No people no cars. Just lights. J pressed the button "24" and kissed Reese on her cheek grabbing her waist. This beautiful long pink and cream sundress fell on her body so perfectly and J just loved it when she wore her hair in a slick ponytail with her long black hair hanging down her back. She is beautiful as it is, her dark smooth skin and natural essence with the cutest little pouty mouth and the Patron XO was speaking to him. And it was speaking to Reese. "Look at him, tall, dark, clean hair cut, white teeth... I love my baby" she thought to herself as she smiled. A plain black T-shirt with those fresh new grey True Religion cargo shorts, gray and black Louis Vuitton dock shoes. "And I don't even have to dress him." He kissed her lips, she bit his bottom lip and looked into his eyes. Once Reese closed her eyes J leaned her against the mirrored wall of the elevator and as his arousal grew he reached to his right and hit the stop button on the elevator. She thought about the cameras but like any other time... Reese didn't care. The thought of J being inside of her made everything else irrelevant. J grazed her leg with his fingertips as he lifted her dress. Sliding his hand inwards now caressing the inside of her thigh placing it onto her most sensitive place. She knew that there was no way he wasn't rock hard. Brushing her hand against his zipper..."just like I thought" her left hand still clinching the back of his neck right hand attacking the button and zipper of his shorts. "Oooo. And it's so wet"
"you did that" she replied in a soft tone. He could hear the thirst in her voice....

Women HATE when men....

It's time to let y'all know what we just can't stand! Granted, there are some exceptions but for the most part no normal or close to normal woman wants you to call her baby if you're not her dude or a really close friend. Any cute or pretty woman does NOT appreciate old wrinkly men saying "hey sexy". If you are extremely broke DO NOT tell a woman "I'll pay your pills". Also, guys don't be so available... yes we want your time but once you become a bug-a-boo you lose. Women hate for men to grab our arms in the club. "Why are you touching my wrist? I don't know where you hands been!" Fellas.. pleas, please, please know that buying a drink does not buy my number. Stop stalking in the club. Your name is not "Money" so please save that for the ultra hood rats, besides, you don't have any! Women hate for men to act like they have "kicked it" with EVERYBODY. thats not attractive and it's even worse that you think it is... no one wants everyone's left-overs! Guys stop walking around the club with that empty bottle of champagne.. its hot and flat! There are a lot of things that should be obvious, get some gum, your breath smells like hot morning sex in a sauna! And OMG don't kiss me. we are not a couple, hell, it is our first time hanging out so do NOT put your lips on me! I just had to put some of these things out there. Ladies feel free to comment and add to. I'll tweet it so don't forget to put your twitter name in there!!! sincerely, @TheAvaShow ;)

Get YOU in Order First

Ok... "reality check" what are you going to do with another person in your life if you can't handle your life alone. People have this misconception of the need to have someone else to "complete" them. In actuality it's best to be able to stand on your own. A relationship is more likely to work if there are two people at 100% (or as close as us humans can get to it) coming together than two people who are at 50% coming together trying to be 100%. Make sense..? There are always going to be issues and problems, your partner will always have something you wish was different but it's not and it won't be. There does come a point, once you're in love with someone, when you don't want to separate because you've become one but that's different. In the case that you have built something and constructed a life together it is hard to pull it apart but it is just as difficult to put two broken pieces together that don't really fit. Its like a puzzle, 500 pieces and you have to put them all together to make a picture. rather than 2 pictures and putting them together to make a mural.. the mural is so much more beautiful. But in the event you just have to pull it apart... those two pictures can exist alone and you'll still see a full image. My point is get your finances straight, get the baby mamas and baby daddys in check, have your plans for the next 3 years at least, sort out your faith and beliefs. That way you can set standards as to whole does and does not deserve you. I'm just sayin...Get YOU in order first!

When Will You Give It Up

Ok, so I gave this dude my number over 2 years ago. And every time he texts I reply "who is this" because I never save his number. Obviously I'm not interested. When I see him out he says things like "you don't fxck wit me" or "you be playin" no I'm not playin... I SERIOUSLY don't want to talk to you. I mean, yea, sometimes women play hard to get but at some point the Little light in your head should say "this ain't just hard to get, this is NOT gonna Get!" And all women go through this. These guys are a cheap version of a bug-a-boo. But you're not even a boo! Then when women get mean and say "please stop calling me" we're bxtches. Fellas.... Take the hint sometimes.. Like, when will you get it?!!!

Maybe I Deserve... Maybe not

Tank said it best back in 2001 "Maybe I Deserve"...Maybe I deserve the hardships this love is putting me through. maybe I deserve to be lied to and cheated on... well maybe but maybe not. You see, no one wants to be hurt and somethings no one HAS  to experience. Physical violence, mental abuse.. no matter what you do you don't deserve it. There lives this Biotch named "Karma" and if you take it upon yourself to give someone what "they deserve" that puts you next in line to meet her. Let God handle them. And in so many instances we take on the responsibility of what someone else has done, the pain that someone else has caused. Ex: Just because Tasha has male friends doesn't means she deserves for Chris to stay out all night and not call. A woman and a man are able to have friends of the opposite sex without cheating. Now if Tasha is out freakin' around then yes, she deserves to be left alone and Chris has every right to keep it moving but why go out and cheat on her... by the end of this war there will be 4 STDs 3 broken hearts a baby with no daddy and some broken windows. The big point is, don't settle. Keep it real in your relationships up front that way there are less surprises at the end because, please believe, there will be ann end if there are a bunch of lies.

LOYALTY: Draw a Line and Choose A Side

As kids we played games where we had to pick teams. You could be on this side or that side, and usually we would pick a crack in the pavement or the line where grass starts to separate the two sides. But no matter which side you were on you had to pick one and stick to it. What happened to that. We were groomed to be loyal at a young age but now people just don't play fair. So many people abuse the word "Loyal" and throw it around like the neighbor hood football. But it's deeper than that. Only real people can be loyal because you have to invest loyalty into someone worthy, how else to decipher? We all know "Real recognize Real" Stop saying "I'm loyal to my crew" when if the ball drops you are willing to let it roll. Know that whosoever that person is you've invested your faith and loyalty in also has your best interest at heart. That way you don't have to ASK NO QUESTIONS. You know "when we move, WE move". You can't be a ride or die for everyone. You can not be 100% in two places at one time can you? No!